Disjointed Drifters Reunited
by goodbye ruby tuesday
Summary: First chapter. Since the destruction of the hellmouth, Willow has tried to piece together her life unsuccessfully. Someone from the past is going to change all that...


The warm summer air was disturbed only by the occasional light breeze. Various people were scattered about, enjoying the fleeting warm weather while they could. Couples lay together on blankets, eating prepared picnics or just laughing together. Children played energetic games of tag and crawled all over the playground equipment. A group of teenage boys were locked in an intense game of ultimate Frisbee.  
  
All of this was visible to the girl with fiery red hair as she sat on the patio of the café across the street, taking the sights in. It was a beautiful day and everyone's spirits seemed lifted. Except her's, of course. She hadn't been able to shake the perpetual feeling of being disconnected from all the other people out there. And for someone with her beliefs in wiccan intricacy, this was quite a feat. But it had been that way for a long time. She had survived the end of the world, time and time again. For a while she fought against succumbing to the isolation, but after the last battle and the annihilation of Sunnydale, she just lost all of her energy to fight against it.  
  
For a few months she simply traveled along with the rest of her group of friends. Going where they went, doing what they did. She retreated into her own head and simply went along with everything outside of herself. Of course they all noticed and expressed concern, but she couldn't explain it to them. No one would understand what it felt like. She was aware they cared about her and for that she was truly grateful. But, it didn't change anything. Ever since Tara died she had been alone. She had gone to the dark side and been pulled back, but throughout all of it one general feeling remained constant: she didn't belong anymore. Not as a witch and not as a regular human being. She had been outcast from both of her worlds and she didn't have anyone to hold onto anymore.  
  
Kennedy had been there, she mused. She had reached out to her and tried her best to understand and connect. For a while she had even been receptive to the other girl's aggressive advances. But as time passed she became aware that the feelings were just a fleeting desire to fill the void with anything or anyone. And when she withdrew Kennedy had tried a million different tactics to reach her. But eventually the resentment became too much and she simply ended their bond. Willow understood and couldn't blame her. They agreed to be friends, but both knew that it was unlikely. Simply a formality.  
  
It was in Boston that Willow had decided that she could no longer continue on with the rest of them. She needed to find herself and stop carrying the guilt that went along with not fitting in. She had tried to play it cool and make it appear as though nothing was off, but that was too transparent as they all knew her well enough. And she hated making them feel bad because they could do nothing to help. So on that fateful day, over dinner, she announced her retirement from the "Scooby gang" and informed them that from then on she would go it alone.  
  
The color drained from all of their faces at the announcement. All but Kennedy seemed surprised by the news. They tried to pursuade her to change her mind and come with them. Xander in particular was fearful of leaving her to her own devices since he had witnessed first-hand how her moods could escalate to destructive proportions. She reassured them all that she would keep in touch and she would be okay. In the end they all came to understand that this was what she needed, though none of them liked the idea. So, when they prepared to move on to New York, she hugged each of them goodbye and let them go.  
  
She had moved on to different locales on her own. She never stayed in one place too long. After she had traveled from coast to coast she had decided to try Canada. She had ended up in Vancouver and found herself comforted by the natural scenery. But she felt the restlessness growing inside her and knew it wouldn't be long before she would make her next move. She had heard that Buffy and the others had gone on to Europe and had passingly considered setting out for there herself. She still had some connections through Giles in England and knew she could make a quick transition, which was always for the best. No strings and no complications.  
  
But on this day all she could do was wait for the time to pass. She sipped her tea and observed all of the other people going about their day. She had given up all magics completely and had opted for a simpler life. She left practically everything about her former life behind and lived as a nomad. She rebuffed any offers of friendship and chose to keep to herself. This was for the best. She couldn't let anyone make their way into her inner circle only to be disappointed when they could only go so far.  
  
Despite knowing and respecting these boundaries which were placed on her against her will by some unseen force that was guiding her through her life, she longed for human connection. Understanding and contact. It was both of these qualities that Tara had provided for her and she herself had provided in return. Their bond had been a strong one and she grieved for it still, despite the passing years and the fading memories. Sometimes she considered reverting back to her mystic ways in hopes of refreshing the memories as a way to relive happier times, but she was aware of the disastrous consequences such a dream would require. So instead she accepted her defeat and drifted aimlessly through life.  
  
Her appearance hadn't changed much. Her hair had grown a bit longer and she made less of an effort to pretty herself up each morning. Now it was about simply being as comfortable as possible as the time passed. Instead of a bright bubbly smile, hers was permenant but faded. And sad eyes accompanied the half-hearted smile, which would show anyone who bothered to look closely how she really felt.  
  
She took odd jobs here and there to finance her lifestyle, but she lived quaintly and required little cash. Instead she spent most of her days wandering around the different cities aimlessly. As though looking for something, but not knowing what, only hoping to find it in the end. Never successfully, however.  
  
Watching the others around her, oblivious to her inner turmoil, she made a half-hearted effort to be optimistic and latch on to their happiness. But only moments later she resigned herself to the lack of hope and simply slouched back down, hoping to fade to invisibility.  
  
But, unbeknownst to her, this hope of invisibility was all for naught. As there was someone who was keenly observing her every move. Although it had been years since they had last spoken, every time he had seen even a glance of auburn hair he found himself desperately seeking out the face to go with it, always to be disappointed. But not this time. After hearing about the fate of Sunnydale he had decided it was time to seek her out and reconnected with the girl, after all these years, he hadn't been able to get out of his head. She had changed a little. Her sorrow seemed to make her look years older than she actually was. But she was still the same Willow.  
  
He hesitated and thought about turning back and leaving her behind. Years had passed and they had both gone through an astounding amount the other would know nothing about. He was uncertain as to whether their connection would be rekindled, or if the flame had simply been snuffed out permanently long ago. It seemed like it during their last meeting. It had not been good to him and he had left heartbroken, desperate to get away from her and her newfound happiness in order to ease his own pain. But one thing had remained constant throughout all that time: he loved her. Perhaps it took seeing her again, even if only from afar, to reaffirm that. But he did.  
  
He weighed both sides and came to a quick conclusion. He knew what he had to do, even if it didn't end well. He'd never been able to truly leave her behind for good and now was no different. He got up from the table he had carefully picked so he could watch her without being seen, summoned all the courage he could muster, and made a beeline for her. But he stopped only two feet behind her. She didn't notice him standing there, but her scent hadn't changed and it hit him quite suddenly. He breathed it in as a warm feeling of familiarity washed over him. His resolution was strengthened and he made the bold move of simply sitting down in the chair directly facing her before she could realize what was happening.  
  
Shock was an understatement. The mug of tea that she had just lifted to her lips to sip from was instantly forgotten as her arm fell to her side and the mug fell to the floor, shattering instantly. Her mouth dropped open in a silent "o" that spoke volumes. He felt a little relieved that he was still able to illicit a strong reaction from her after all this time, instead of simple indifference which he feared most. But the knot in his stomach was by no means gone. He chose to say nothing, however, allowing her to make the first move so he would be able to follow her lead. She'd lost all her common sense and just stared at him in awe before her voice finally came back to her.  
  
"Oz...?" 


End file.
